Happy Easter

First off, Happy Easter Weekend ladies. We hope you are enjoying the weekend with family and friends. We would like to thank each and every reader and follower we have. We started this blog just based on idea and concept. We are amazed at how far it has come and hope you guys are enjoying it as much as we love doing it. We can't wait to see where we go in the next few months and hope to bring you many more great topics and issues, as well as personal experiences. If you have any questions or topics you would love to see discussed, please send us an email using the side bar or at at bottom of the blog, leave us a comment. We love hearing from you ladies and what you think. So please feel free to leave us feedback on what you like, dislike, or would love to see improved.

Thank You So Much For Taking Time to Check Out Diaries of Moms!

Sincerely,

Emily, Dani, Xena

Maternity Wear

During my pregnancy I was all about comfort and what could fit. Before I was pregnant I was all about the short shorts and cute little tank tops. I mean a girl has got to show off her assets, right!! When I got pregnant for the first few months I tended to stay with the same type of outfits, but as I got further along and began to show my shorts began to not fit anymore which upset me.. I Looked Fat! My mom ended up taking me maternity clothes shopping I think when I was about five months along. I ended up buying a few pairs of stretchy yoga pants which later on became my best friend. I had to buy large undies also since my butt was getting bigger. Also had to buy a whole new set of bras as my boobs began to grow more and more. Wired seemed to hurt and felt weird so it was all about the sports bra most of my pregnancy. Many nights I would end up sleeping in one of my boyfriends shirts cause they were big enough to fit around belly plus I sweated a lot at night so wore something that could easily slip off. As for a bikini I didn’t care at all and would wear one no matter what. As my pregnancy went on I learned to embrace my bump and flaunt it when I had the chance. So if I went to the pool or beach and I had the chance to show off the curves I would

-E
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To me, hearing or seeing some women not wear maternity clothes makes me wonder if they're aware that their baby can feel the pressure on the belly.

For myself, sadly, it took too long for me to finally get maternity pants due to some things going on in my life. But the moment I did, I felt amazing! No more pressure on my uterus, I could bend down with almost no signs of struggle, and felt comfortable beyond belief.

A lot of my tops are still the ones I had before which I actually love. I wear the shirts or tank tops that aren't suffocating and hard to breath in, but show off my baby bump. Sometimes a mom-to-be just has to show the world that she's got a bun in the oven

The bras! I hate wearing bra's with wires now, actually tends to leave me with bruises where the wire is located near your armpit, so I switched to bralettes. Most of the time if I can get out of even wearing a bra, I most definitely would rather not be.

All I want to do is to go swimming. Extremely, badly. I myself, don't find it appropriate to go to a public pool in a two piece, but again, this is just my own opinion. If any mom's have, I give huge props to you. I still have yet to find looking in the mirror in a two piece bathing suit, on me, a satisfying sight.  Being 36 weeks pregnant, the belly's getting a little on the big side. Once my daughter is born, and she's old enough to take her first swimming lessons we will be at the pool, hopefully, every second day. I love the look of one pieces now-a-days and of course adore two pieces, so hopefully I can get this mama's body into either of those come summer.

-X
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I always heard people make comments about when you have a baby belly, you need to have maternity wear. I never listened thinking that it was a waste of money and you could work around your athletic wear but Lord was I wrong. I ran into a lot of issues with pains the longer I wore pants due to the pressure that my pants were putting on my belly. When I stopped working, I didn't even bother wearing pants to be comfortable.

One day, I needed out of the apartment so we took my gift cards that I had gotten over Christmas to Target to spend it on whatever I seem fit. After almost an hour walking around the store without choosing anything, we came across the maternity section. Since we didn't have any plans, we thought what the hell, let's try something on and see what the big deal was. In the fitting room, I pulled up a pair of jeans and oh my God...... I was in heaven. They lifted my belly, which is pretty low to begin with, and took away a lot of pressure.

As of going off the same list of favorites as the rest of moms have done, I unfortunately can't give a lot of feedback with that just yet but hopefully soon!

-D

Liz's Birth Story

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew I’d be planning a home birth. While the hospital birth of my son (way back in May 2009) was natural and complication free, I hated the ‘being in hospital’ aspect of things. The transfer in while in labour was painful, and the sudden change of setting and medical feel to the room was unsettling. I was also now being treated by people who I’d never met in my life, and the labour ward was busy, so there was no continuity of care. To me, hospitals are a place for sick people and not somewhere I would choose to spend one of the happiest days of my life if I didn’t need to. I was low risk and my midwife Becky was very supportive of my decision, so I happily went ahead and planned my home birth. We were due on 5th December so I made sure I had the Christmas tree up by the 1st. I had fairytale images of twinkling fairy lights in the background as we welcomed our little baby into the world. 

My due date came and went with no sign of baby. I wasn’t worried or even impatient as my first was born at 41 weeks and I knew she would come when ready. I was offered a stretch and sweep by my midwife on my due date, which I politely declined, and I went home to enjoy my last few days of pregnancy. I’ve always felt quite strongly against unnecessary intervention as it often leads to further intervention, and I wanted to labour and birth as naturally as possible.

Two days past my due date, on 7th December at around 10pm, I felt some low period like pains in my stomach. I knew right away that they were contractions and I started to get excited knowing the birth was imminent. My first labour was almost exactly 6 hours from the first contraction to baby being born, and I knew this one was likely to happen even quicker. I started timing the contractions straight away. In the next couple of hours I had a handful of contractions that were completely sporadic and at varying degrees of painfulness. I tried going to bed around midnight but the mixture of excitement and discomfort made sleep impossible, so I got up and sat downstairs by myself. Eventually the contractions trailed off completely and I finally gave 

in and went to bed at 2:45am feeling disappointed. 

I woke up at 7am the next morning to a mild contraction, and my husband told me to stay in bed while he got my son ready for school. Again, nothing really ramped up so I plodded downstairs to get some breakfast. My husband said he would stay home for the day as he was sure ‘today was the day’. I had a shower, did my make up as normal and tried to keep busy, pottering around tidying and trying to stay on my feet to get things going. We had a little snack in the late morning (hummus and toasted pitta bread, yum) and he said he was going to try and have a little nap as it had been such a broken nights sleep. I decided to stretch out on the sofa and watch an episode of Criminal Minds, as one does.

Five minutes into the program at 12pm I had a really strong contraction, then another two within the next ten minutes. I shouted up to my husband to forget the nap, things were happening! I marched around the living room, desperate for them not to trail off again, while we started making some childcare plans. We called my dad to ask him to pick my son up from school that day and then my husband urged me to call the hospital so they could notify the home birth team. I wasn’t keen on calling them so soon as I hated the thought of them coming out and then everything stopping again. But, he insisted so I made the call. The phone was answered by a midwife called Emma who was super sweet. I told her that I was having two to three contractions every ten minutes but I didn’t expect my labour to take long once established. She said she would make some phone calls and then get back to me to let me know what time I could expect someone. Sure enough, within ten minutes I had a call back from Emma to tell me that my community midwife Becky was on her way, and that Emma herself would be the second midwife arriving a little later with the birthing kit. I was so happy that my own midwife was able to attend, it meant I would be cared for by someone that I’d built a relationship with, who knew what I wanted from my home birth. 

We started getting the birthing space ready, which only really consisted of covering the living room sofas with plastic sheeting with some towels on top, and putting a soft padded gym mat on the floor next to the sofa. I drew the curtains, blu tacked my birth plan to the living room door, put on the Christmas tree fairy lights and started arranging some snacks in the kitchen for my midwives. A few minutes later at 1pm the doorbell rang and my husband went to answer it. He came back in and said that Becky had a student with her for the day and was I happy to have the student observe the birth. I felt a little conflicted for a split second as I’d wanted as few people there as possible, but I was so grateful that Becky was able to attend that I said, “Yes, yes, just let her in!”

Becky came in with her student called Anna Marie and I updated them on how things had been going so far. I had originally written in my birth plan that I didn’t want any VE’s, but that went out the window straight away as I was desperate to know if ‘this was it’ and whether or not I was in established labour. Becky performed the examination and said I was 3cm to 4cm, so not quite established labour but things were definitely happening. We then took five minutes to go through my birth plan, which consisted of the following.

I would like to avoid having any VE’s (whoops)

Please do not talk to me during contractions.

I would like my labour to be as hands off as possible.

I may lose my mind a bit during transition. If I do, remind me about transition and I’ll be ok again. :) 

I do not want any coached pushing.

I do not want the injection to speed up the third stage (placenta delivery).

Please wait for white and delay cord clamping.

I would like immediate skin to skin and time with my baby before the baby examinations.

By now it was 1:30pm and things were starting to ramp up. I put some music on, held my hot water bottle against my stomach and started pacing up and down the living room. For each contraction, which by now were getting stronger and lasting longer, I leant on my husband for support and concentrated on breathing through them. Once the contraction was over, I’d started pacing again. Becky and Anna Marie had made themselves comfortable and we were all chatting and laughing in-between contractions, and drinking copious amounts of tea. After about half an hour of this, the doorbell went again, it was Emma arriving with the kit, which she set up in the kitchen/dining room. More tea was made, my hot water bottle refilled and another person settled into our birth space. 

I now had three midwives and my husband there for support and was starting to feel like a VIP. Soon after Emma arrived, the contractions were coming thick and fast, and were so strong that I could no longer pace the room. I dropped down onto my knees on the gym mat and asked if I could try some gas and air. I took some long deep puffs with my next contraction and it made me feel a little light headed. I did this again for my next couple of contractions but I became irritated with it quickly as I didn’t find it was offering much in the way of pain relief and it was becoming a distraction. Also, I was at the point where I needed to make a little noise so instead I moaned through the contractions while my husband massaged my back. By now I was feeling an incredible amount of pressure down below and I instinctively leant across the sofa and adopted an ‘all fours’ position. 

The next few contractions were hard to deal with and I suddenly felt like I’d made a terrible mistake. I whimpered that “I couldn’t do it” and my midwives quickly reassured me that I could and I was. Becky reminded me about what I’d written in my birth plan about transition, and for some reason I replied with, “Ignore that, I was lying!”

A moment later, my waters went with a bang as my body instinctively started pushing. The pressure was immense and whenever the urge came, I pushed as hard as I could to try and get through it as quickly as I could. I vaguely remember my husband being completely overcome with emotion and crying as I pushed. Minutes later, Becky told me the head had been born and baby looked like Daddy! I gave one final huge push and our daughter was born into the world at 2:51pm, after 1 hour and 40 minutes of established labour and 12 minutes of pushing. 

She was immediately passed up to me between my legs and I looked at her completely stunned while she let out a loud cry. I pulled her up to my chest and made myself cosy on the sofa with a fluffy towel over us to keep us warm. I was SO happy she was here and was perfectly healthy. My husband cuddled up with us and told me how proud of me he was, I thought my heart might burst. After a cup of tea and a well earned cupcake, we clamped and cut the cord and my husband took baby into the kitchen with Emma and Anna Marie so they could perform the newborn checks while Becky and I concentrated on the third stage. 

Without going into any graphic detail, it somehow ended up with Becky and I in the downstairs loo together with me delivering the placenta into what looked like a tupperware box! The newborn checks were still being completed so I quickly jumped into the shower for 2 minutes to freshen up. When I came downstairs my little girl had been dressed in her cute first baby grow, had been weighed (4.0kg/ 8lb8) and was ready for her first feed. She latched on immediately and the three of us happily cuddled up on the sofa while the midwives tidied up. All of the disposable rubbish was thrown into a black sack and the towels chucked into the washing machine. Within minutes, you’d never have know a baby had just been born in the room. We then called both of our parents to let them know the good news and hugged our midwives goodbye as they left us to enjoy our cosy Christmas baby moon. We ordered dinner that evening from our favorite Lebanese restaurant and there was no greater feeling than being able to get into our own bed that night with our baby girl safe and well by our side. 

I know many people go into their birth with a ‘I’ll go with the flow’ kind of attitude, and while it’s good to be prepared for anything, it’s also great to know exactly what you want from the birth so that your midwife can help you achieve it. You (likely) wouldn’t get married without first doing some planning, and giving birth is just as big a life event, if not bigger. I highly recommend The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill for anyone that needs help getting into that zone or is a bit fearful of childbirth. It’s brilliantly written, extremely informative and unlike any pregnancy/birth book I’ve read before. 

Lets thank Liz for sharing her amazing story with us ladies...

Infertility

I hate to kinda put myself in this topic solely for the reason because it didn't take that long for me to get pregnant like I know a lot of mothers out there have the issue with. However, I do have something that I know I could relate myself to somebody out there so I figured I would give my story and help someone if I could. Around last August, I was at work when I began to bleed out of, well I am sure you can figure out where. At first, I thought it was just my period starting and being pretty irregular as it was, it didn't seem too suspicious to me. I got my client in the car to take him grocery shopping (I worked in client's home who need some extra help) and started our trek to the store. I normally have my phone in between my legs when I have someone in the passenger seat due to a lack of center console to stick it in. I hadn't left the parking lot yet so I grabbed it to call my boss after receiving a text asking for a call. I had planned on dialing and speaking over the car speakers as I normally do but didn't even get the chance to call.

My phone was covered in blood, front and back. I didn't quite understand what was going on and started to get scared when I looked down and I had blood soaking my yoga pants from my hooha all the way to my knees. It had been a while since I had a period due to birth control, five years to be exact, but it was pretty obvious that this was not supposed to be normal. I gave a dumb excuse to my client to turn back around and go back to his house which he seemed pretty content with. I asked him to go up to his room for a little bit while I stayed downstairs and called a co-worker to get her opinion. The pain was becoming unbearable and the blood continued to come and started dripping out of my pant leg and into my shoe. I started to get light-headed so I hung up with her and called my boss and explained there was emergency at the house and needed someone to come relieve me right away which he began to work on.

My next call was Justin, who had to drive me because there was no way I was going to make it. With both on their way, I did my best to stay calm but between the pain and the amount of blood, I started to worry the worse, I am miscarrying. When everything was situated at work, Justin and I made our way to the emergency room. They were pretty busy and hearing something that didn't seem life threatening, they weren't too quick to getting me into a room. When they finally called me to go and get my vitals checked, I told them that I standing up making blood gush out quickly but they didn't seem to mind until they saw the amount of blood that actually flowed out onto the pad they laid out on the wheelchair for me. That changed their mood very quick and they took me back right away.

They poked and prodded, put a catheter in, and did a vaginal exam and determined that I wasn't pregnant and miscarrying (Thank God) but had a very large ovarian cyst that had burst. She recommended that I make an appointment with my gynecologist to see if this is going to be more of an issue in the future.

To make a long story a little shorter, my gynecologist told me that with the cysts that developed on my ovaries could lead to infertility in the future and that I may only have a small window to get pregnant. Justin and I tried for a few months, watching my ovulation cycle like a hawk, and no such luck. I know that is way less time then a lot of mothers but I was just trying to accept the fact that I may never become a mom which was my dream for years. We stopped actually trying and got the mentality of if it happens, it happens which was when it turned out that we were gonna have our little boy.

As much as I would love to have at least two kids, I have learned to accept the fact that my son may be my only one and that is okay because that was a miracle within itself.

-D

Kaitlyn's Birth Story

On November 18th 2016 I woke up with a brutal headache making my head feel like it was about to explode. Thinking it was another hormone migraine I tried to go back to sleep but found that close to impossible so decided to down 4 bottles of water next blaming it on dehydration. When I still had the headache 30 minutes later I got up to hop in the shower. When I got up I felt an agonizing pain in my feet. Looking down I noticed they were triple their normal size. I began to get worried but nothing worried me as much as when suddenly my vision went black. Immediately I called for my boyfriend and told him I couldn’t see and needed to go to the hospital knowing Brain cysts and tumors run in my family at a young age. We got to the hospital and my blood pressure was 178/ 89. Nothing to major but high for me. They hooked me up to the monitors and my blood pressure went up to 190/ 98. They took my blood pressure one last time and it was 192/100. They then unhooked me from everything and sent me home telling me I was fine. When I got home things just got worse from there. I started passing out. Was up all night throwing up. I called my OBGYN in the morning of November 19th 2016 explaining what was going on and they told me to take Tylenol and tums and try to get some rest and call back in 5 hours if nothing was better. Of course 5 hours later I called back feeling even worse and they told me they were super busy and call back in an hour and hung up. I called back an hour very irritated and told them I was coming in whether they wanted me to come in or not because something was not right. I go there and yet again they hook me up to the monitors. Blood pressure was now 210/120. They told me congratulations we are going to start the inducing process and you aren’t leaving here without a baby. 

They sent me into my labor and delivery suite and told me they would be using cervidik overnight. They out in the cervidil and that was it. Excited and relieved I finally got some rest with nausea medication. I woke up November 20th not feeling any contractions. At 5 AM they came in to check on me and take out the cervidil. She tried reaching in to find it and then I felt an extreme pain. She pulled it out and apologized saying that the person had put it in backwards which is why it hurts to bad and hadn’t worked all night. My vagina was sore and swollen at this pint so I told them no way were they doing more cervidil. They then started me in the pill. For the rest of the day I waited. I could feel some contractions but nothing too crazy. My blood pressure was still very high. On November 21 they encouraged lots of walking. I was still only 1.5 cm. The contractions were picking up but again I could definitely manage. On a November 22 I woke up definitely feeling the contractions! Now on day 3 of beginning stages of labor I was definitely tired. They checked and I was a 3. I walked a lot, bounced in the ball a lot. Ordered all the spicy food I could! At 5:39 they broke my waters for me. Around 6:30 I had my bloody show and the contractions were very painful. I was definitely not expecting it. At 8 pm I went into the tub. At 9:30 I asked for the laughing gas in the tub. HIGHLY recommend!!! It was amazing! You still feel the contractions but you’re so looped you just didn’t care! At 11:30pm the contractions were getting worse so I got out of the tub and asked for the medicine through the IV. They told me I wouldn’t feel the contractions. The pitocen was up to 23 now. By 11:45 I was all clenched up telling the nurse I wanted the epidural. They called in the anesthesiologist and he did my first epidural. At 1 am I woke up and told them the epidural was no longer working. I was in so much pain that the baby went into distress because I kept holding my breath. At 2:30 AM the anesthesiologist came back and did epidural number two. At 5 I woke up feeling all contractions again. At 6 I got epidural number 3. At 8:15 on November 23,2016 epidural number 3 wore off. We started talking about a c section since it was now 4 days of labor and was still only at 4 cm. 

My water had been broken 14 hours. At 11:30 I agreed to a c section because babies heart rate was beginning to get low. At 12:30 my vision went black. I don’t remember much after this part since my body went into shock. All I know is that my blood pressure sky rocketed and baby flat lined. Doctors came into the room and told me we needed to do a c section now and couldn't wait any longer. They threw scrubs to my boyfriends and wheeled me to the OR. They went to make the incision and I felt every little thing. I started screaming. I remember my boyfriend coming in freaking out asking why I was screaming and there was so much blood. They put the mask over my face and that was the last thing I remembered. At 1:16 pm on November 23 my perfect little boy Stanley Michael Shepard was born. Weighing 6 pounds 13 oz and 19.5 inches long. I wasn’t awake to hear his first cry. But then something in me to this day remembers it vaguely. I finally woke up around 5:30 that night feeling like I had been hit by a truck. Stanley thankfully was fine but I was on some medication because I nearly had a stroke. 

My advice would be take the birthing class. I think I didn’t have a successful labor due to being sos tressed and not controlling my breathing. My body was so tense I couldn't dilate. My biggest advice though is LISTEN to yourself. You know something is wrong. I didn’t end up with ore eclampsia. Just hypertension related to pregnancy. I’m now 6 months with baby #2 and have already planned my birthing class and to have the baby in a different hospital! Thank you for reading :)

Lets thanks Kaitlyn for sharing her amazing story...

Rudeness

I've been pretty lucky in the area of dealing with rude people. Only have had a few encounters but they were more creepy than rude.

I've been posting photos on Instagram of my belly because I'm proud of how large I've gotten. Even been lucky
enough to have a few other accounts ask to post my photo or say a shout out. But there's been a time where one account just made me feel uncomfortable.

They had seen a photo and private messaged me asking to do a video and of course have my baby bump in it. I had no problem doing so. Seemed like a pretty legit account. Only thing was that I had told them I was having dinner, they than replied with something along the lines of "Okay, make sure that belly is stuffed full and popping!", followed by a smiling emoji. With that comment I felt uncomfortable.

There was one other time where I posted a photo of my bare belly and received another private message asking me if my belly button was going to pop out. I asked this strange man why only to be disgusted with him saying "I have a belly button fetish and want to no". Of course I replied with telling him to go away, blocked him, and called my boyfriend right away.

As for rude encounters, like I said, I never really had any, just creepy ones

-X
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Let me just say this right of the bat, there are some things you shouldn’t say to a pregnant woman unless you wanna get slapped in the face or kicked in the nuts lol. I had plenty of guys ask the size of my breasts and also ask how much weight I gained while I was pregnant. First off, the size of my breasts is none of your business, I mean come on seriously. Also if you had common sense, you know you never ask a girl their weight pregnant or not.

I remember one major instance when I was at the gym one day and on the treadmill and a guy came up from behind and grabbed my butt. He was like “What's up sweet thing? Can I take that body for a ride?” I immediately turned around and punched the dude and was like are you serious! Excuse me! And stormed off into another room of the gym. First off, I guess he didn’t think there were any boundaries and this was not just rude, basically sexual harassment. It just seems like guys have a fearing for pregnant girls and will act jokingly around us, even though it’s rude they don’t think it is.

Basically ladies you don’t deserve to be disrespected or treated like crap. If someone is rude or says something rude call them out on it. Tell them how rude and disrespectful that was. You deserve to be treated well so take control.

-E
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Even though I am not as further along as the other mothers, I already have had rude comments directed toward me. Some that actually have hit both Justin and I more than we thought we could get from who we considered our friends and family. Not all were comments, some actions that hurt us more than words could so please be patient because I'll get to my point eventually.

Justin and I are both Christians but not what people would consider the hardcore Christian type. We try to go to church as much as possible, we try to lead friendly and helpful lives and help anyone in need, and we work hard to learn to forgive along with being working on our relationship with God. We don't consider ourselves perfect but we treat everyone as if they are. Justin's best friend, who won't be named, and his brother grew up in a very Christian family who have their beliefs and everyone else who doesn't follow those beliefs aren't good enough to be talked to.

It's no secret that Justin and I don't have the most conventional relationship. We moved in together after two months of dating (for various reasons), we didn't save ourselves until we tied the knot, and we (obviously) are having a baby before marriage. To anyone who knows Christianity, these are big no-nos and a best friend isn't an exception. They always made comments about our relationship, even before we actually got together. We first met five years ago when I was sixteen and he was twenty-four so I don't know if they still see me as the annoying little teen that followed them around because I wanted to be friends or what but when Justin and I reconnected when I was twenty, they were very cold to me and didn't mind telling Justin what they really thought. They even went as far as telling him that I used to stare at one of them. I wholeheartedly feel part of it was that they didn't want me around and did anything they could to make that happen.

Although Justin and I stuck together, it didn't get any easier when we moved in and especially got comments when he got the nerve to tell them that we were expecting. He made it quite clear that he wasn't gong to listen to any negativity from them so we got a cold congratulations. The pain I could see in Justin's eyes from hearing that from someone he considered his brother was actually heartbreaking. How could you turn your back on your best friend like that? I still don't quite understand to be completely honest. They blocked us from seeing their posts on social media, made passive aggressive comments to me (that even Justin doesn't know about), and never sends Justin texts to see how he's doing or ask if he wants to come see his buddies from out of town. All because we decided to take the open window of time for me to get pregnant and it wasn't in the order that THEY desired. Even just typing this now, I find myself in tears for Justin. Even church members, ones who are on the committee are happy for us and express their love but I guess there always has to be those few that try to bring negativity to something as happy and exciting as becoming a parent.

It would be great to say that they're the only ones that we have to worry about trying to bring us down but unfortunately they aren't. In fact, someone who should be close to me makes things really hard in our lives as well. My sister. We always butted heads growing up. For the greater part of our childhood, there was insults and assaults that were directed towards me by her. I am pretty used to it now and most of the time can let it go in one ear and out the other. She's excited about having a nephew but that doesn't stop her from being an arrogant "beotch". Just last Saturday is a very good example of this. My father's girlfriend invited us all over to their house for a family dinner. This included myself, Justin, my father, my father's girlfriend, my youngest other sister, and the focus of this story, my sister. All was well until she arrived. Right off the bat she wanted to see my belly. No "hey, can I see your belly since I haven't seen it yey?", it was "take off your coat so I can see how big you got". Rude but whatever. Choose your own battles, right? Then the next words came out of her mouth that even Justin had to bite his lip for. She said, "Looks like your boobs didn't get the memo. They look small compared to how fat you got. Guess who won't be breastfeeding." That really hit deep down. First, you demand that I show you my belly and then you have to top it off with an insult about the way that I look?

Let's just say that I didn't go over yesterday to meet her new boyfriend....

-D

Breastfeeding or Formula?

This is big decision for all moms to be. I remember when I was making the decision as there were pros for each of them. But in the end I chose to breastfeed my son. I learned that it was better for him as well as mother after birth as it helped your body shrink. 

The main reason I chose was the mother/son bonding that it resulted in. Being able to sit there and hold him, while watching his nurse was so precious. It's a precious time in my life that I will always remember. The first few times it does hurt and feel like someone is chewing and bruising your nippled, but it does get better. It was hard at first as he had trouble latching, but once we got the hang of it, it was smooth sailing. 

I guess the only down side was that sometimes I had to feed my son in public, and even though I was covered just felt awkward. I would have people staring at me and I'm pretty sure that some people even tried to peer down to see if they could catch a glimpse :)

Overall breastfeeding to me is the way to go due to the benefits and the bond it creates between a mother and their child.  What are your thoughts ladies?

-E
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I know this is a huge decision that a lot of mothers have to eventually decide on for once they give birth. For me, it gets a little more complicated to make the decision.

When I was born, my mom had chose to breastfeed me. After I arrived at my first home, a nurse had come to the house after a few days and noticed that I had lost a lot of wait and looked very frail. It turns out that my mother wasn't producing (or at least not producing enough) and that if the nurse hadn't stopped by to see how everything was going, I could've died from starvation. This, of course, got me changed to drinking formula.

I hear every time I hear about a mother breastfeeding that it's one of the best ways to bond and has amazing benefits for the baby and I want that so much for me and my son but so afraid that the same thing would happen to me, or even worse, I don't catch it like my parents did and I really hurt him.

This made the decision a lot harder for me because bonding is important to me but obviously, I don't wanna hurt my son. I came down to the conclusion that I was going to try to breastfeed but if watch close enough that if I wasn't making enough, I could use formula to make sure that he grows up healthy and strong.

-D
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Sometimes we can breastfeed, and sometimes we can't. The baby might not latch on, might not eat long enough to get that good back milk, a mother may not be able to produce enough, or sometimes your baby will refuse to even take to breastfeeding anymore if they already were. All things that are sadly real and that we new mom's need to be aware of and okay with.

The bonding experience between a mother and child, from what I've heard, during breastfeeding can be another magical moment. Some mom's might not feel like that, and may start to not bond with their child in that way anymore. And that's okay mom's! Yes, giving your baby breast milk is one of the best things to give them, but if he/she wont take, or you no longer have a bond, they push away the boob, there is always formula.

I myself do of course want to try what I can to breastfeed my daughter, but am aware that it's okay if I can't or if anything else arises. I was a formula and breast milk baby. I wouldn't eat long enough to get the good boobie juice, as my mother would always say, so they had to put me on formula due to me becoming jaundice*. 

We all want a bond with our child, but no matter if its through breast milk, or formula, you get to hold your baby and watch them drink up all the good nutrients to make them grow big and strong.

*To help understand what jaundice is, here is a link https://www.healthline.com/health/newborn-jaundice

-X

Kirstin's Birth Story

August 2, 2017, 4:50pm. My little boy arrived. 7 pounds 12 ounces, 20 inches long. He was perfect. It had been a long time coming to finally be able to hold him in my arms. Our journey to that point had been years in the making, but he was worth the wait. 

My entire pregnancy I was considered a “high risk”. Two years prior, at age 24, I suffered a stroke and our attempts to conceive had to be put on hold while I recovered. Almost to the date, one year later I got pregnant. I had to maintain a daily dose of aspirin throughout my pregnancy and at the end my doctor set a date to be induced at 39 weeks pregnant with close monitoring. 

It was a Tuesday night at 10pm when my husband and I and my mom went to the hospital to start the process of meeting our boy. I quickly changed into my hospital gown and climbed up on the bed, nervous as ever! And nothing is more surreal than seeing my name on the white board in the room screaming, “The time has come! This baby’s got to come out!”

I received an I.V, the medication to induce and the monitors strapped around my pregnant belly. Seeing my son’s heartbeat had me even more eager to meet him. 

Did I get any sleep that night? Hardly! As my husband snored soundly on the couch I tossed and turned and knocked off my monitors and tossed and turned some more. It was a rough night with no strong contractions. 

As night turned into early morning and as the nurses changed shifts the contractions started coming more frequently and more intense. My water was broken around 10am and pitocin was started to get my labor moving more swiftly. At 4 centimeters I opted for an epidural (that was the plan all along), and after that kicked in I was able to rest for a few hours until the pain started all over again. My anesthesiologist administered 3 doses of medication to help ease my pain but nothing worked. In other words, my epidural was a dud. So even though I was able to be pain free for a time, my body was saying, you’re going to feel this the whole way. 

Between the extra drugs and the pain, remembering each moment goes in and out. My biggest fear was not being able to remember giving birth to my son. During labor I was jolted awake with a heart rate of 170 and not being able to breath. I was having a panic attack. I don’t think I mentally prepared myself for the things that could go wrong during labor, like a faulty epidural and the pain and the drugs clouding my mind. I was so fearful. 

Before I knew it it was 4:15pm and I was 10 centimeters dilated. My doctor had only made a few appearances and when the nurse told him I was ready he strolled in, took a look and said, “Nah, she’s not ready yet.” And he walked out. I remember saying, “Where is he going?” Very loudly! And thinking he was leaving for hours and I would be pregnant forever! But lo and behold he came back. 

Pushing out that little baby was definitely something I wasn’t quite prepared for either. I took no classes before hand thinking, I’ve got this. Push with your butt not your head. But honestly between the pain and the drugs my mind was far from any rational thoughts. My mom kept reminding me of that little phrase though. So try as I might I attempted again and again to take the pressure off my head and neck. 

Pushing seemed to go on forever, but in reality I maybe pushed 10 times for 25 minutes. I could not imagine doing that for hours, so kudos to those strong mamas! My doctor definitely helped me out along the way, pushing my baby’s head like a pimple right out. Once his head was out my doctor freed his shoulders with one swift pull and the rest followed. It was the weirdest sensation. 

Crew Lawrence was finally in my arms! I never thought the day would come. He was perfect. 

The doctor gave me a few shots of local anesthetic for some stitches but I didn’t have a care in the world, my boy was finally with me and my husband! Unfortunately my story does not end there. After a room change and another nurse shift, nearly three hours later I began experiencing painful cramps. My nurse kept saying it’s normal over and over again. We had my in-laws visit, the pain intensified. We had my family come in and I’ll never forget my sister saying, “I knew something wasn’t right when I walked in the room and no one was holding Crew.” That makes me the saddest about this experience. But my life was at stake and no one knew that yet. 

I called out in pain and pushed my alarm and my nurse came running in. She pulled down my sheets and I was sitting in a pool of blood. At that moment I’ve never been more scared, not even when I had my stroke. 

The flurry of nurses that rushed in my room is a scene I’ll never forget. I was laid flat and punched in the stomach. I could feel more blood come out. All I could do was scream out and stare up at my husband. I remember saying, “Am I going to die?” I was sure this had to be it. 

I lost around 1 liter of blood that night with my hemorrhage. My skin pail and my body weak. But my baby was healthy, I was healing. These moments I’ll never forget. I thank God for the quick thinking of the nursing staff and the life He spared that night. And the new life I welcomed into the world. 

Today Crew is a strong & sturdy 18 pound seven month old. He is brave and sweet and has my heart. 

Some advice I have for labor & delivery; don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions and don’t be afraid to take control. This is your experience and journey bringing your little one into the world. 

And the best advice I have for newborns comes from my sister: “When in doubt, nipple out.” Those first few weeks with a newborn can be rough. But I was able to soothe each cry with breastfeeding. Babies that small don’t have any kind of schedule yet and have growth spurts often. I found that nursing was usually always the answer. 

-Kirstin Valentine- 

Lets thank her for sharing her wonderful story with us ladies.....

Children & Electronics

In this next blog we are giving our own personal outlooks on this topic. We are not saying that children and electronics are good nor bad. This is a topic that we find interesting and want to share our thoughts about.

Growing up in the 90's was great! Tablets weren't a thing yet, video games were just starting out, cellphones were just booming. We went on long bike rides and did crazy jumps to prove that girls were one of the guys. We played games outside. Some good old kick the can, man hunt, or hide-&-seek. For me, I have an idea of what it's like seeing young children and electronics since I have a 10 year old brother. I myself, I don't like it.

I have no problem with a bit of TV time. Sometimes children wake up before parents, turn the tv on to watch a few episodes of whatever their favorite tv show is at that time, or even some tv as a family time before bed. But once it gets to a point where all they do is sit there and record tv shows, one after the other, not even new ones! That drives me crazy. I also understand that sometimes we as adults sit in front of the tv and binge watch a few episodes here and there, but we earned the right to do it. 

I start to have a problem with tablets when they sit there and download games and play them all day. Glued to the screen. You try talking to them, and we get no reply. Yes, we are the same, but again, we're adults. I dislike when I see parents at restaurants giving their child tablets to shut them up. Yes I do understand that that's there choice to do so, but than why bring your child out? Why do not a lot of children still play with dolls, read a book, play dress up, or even call a friend and ask if they want to go for a bike ride to the park and play lava? Why must they be connected to their friends through Xbox, Instagram, and even Facebook? Last time I checked, you have to be 13 to even get an account. I don't see it being okay to let your child pose for pictures or talk online in a video game to people they don't know. Sadly, now a days, there's far to many creeps.

When my daughter wants to get a phone I stand strongly behind me telling her that if she want's one, she needs to buy it herself and get a pay-as-you-go. Growing up that was our rule and I honestly hated it at the time but understand now why my parents would say that. I will budge a little if she ends up being in a lot of after school activities as for the only reason for her to contact us right away. But if she's at the age of 8-13 asking for one, it wont happen.

As you can probably tell this topic gets under my skin, but I stand strongly behind my own personal outlook on this topic. Again, this is my own opinion and my own choices once my daughter is born. Every parent is different and parents differently 

-X

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This topic can really get heated between a conversation between moms. I have actually heard both sides of an argument before and both actually had some pretty good points.l

On one hand, tablets and TV could be beneficial to a child by having a lot of learning shows and games in a way that would keep them engaged for a long period of time. They can be portable (tablet wise) so it can keep your child busy and distracted for potentially high stressed situations for you as the mom.

One the other hand, it's no secret that kids have been quite obsessed with TV and tablets including video games and it can make it so that they only want to focus on that. I have a friend whose son has been playing video games since he was two and to this day only wants to play Playstation whenever he is home. He is now almost ten. When he is out with his mother, she hands him a tablet to play whatever he wants or watches a downloaded movie to basically keep his entertained and out of the way. I feel as though some, not all, parents use these devices to be lazy in their parenting so they don't have to do anything with their children.

It leads to the question of what would I let my child do and honestly that can get really hard. I would like to say that my son wouldn't be anywhere near electronics until he's eighteen years old and will excel by doing puzzles and being outside all the time but if we all really wanna be real with each other, sometimes we gotta do what we have to to give us a break.

In my opinion, I feel like if they are being used for the correct reasons, learning games, thought-provoking shows, etc, I think they should absolutely be used. I also feel like a time limit should be set in place so then they have the opportunity to focus on other activities such as exploring the outdoors, art, and music.

Now, my opinion on cellphones is a little bit more off of experience than anything. My parents were pretty overprotective when my sisters and I were growing up. We didn't run around our little town at the age of ten like a lot of the kids our age did. Back then it was something that really bugged me because I was in bed while I could hear all the neighborhood kids laughing and yelling as they played but now I miss the seven o'clock bedtimes. My father dropped us off and my mother picked us up before and after school and they always picked us up after sports practices so really we never needed our own phone. When I was about thirteen years old, I got a Nokia pre-paid phone for my birthday. This phone only had calling capabilities to my father, my mother, my grandmother, my aunt, and 911. I feel like having this phone for emergencies only made my parents feel safe when I started to get into junior high sports that began to be further away and tournaments started to take up a lot of my time. The older I got, the more freedom I would have with my phones my parents had gotten me but all the way through graduating high school, I never had a smartphone. When I decided to enlist in the military was when I broke down and got a smartphone to stay in touch with my friends and family while I was away.

Since then, I have got caught up in the smartphone hype and have the Galaxy S8 Plus so I know first hand how quick it can absorb a large aspect of your life and I don't want the same for my son.

-D
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Basically how I feel with technology is that it brain washes today generation and prevents them from experiencing life and what it can teach them. Yes you can learn from games on a tablet not but not the same thing. All I can say is put those phone, tablets away and turn off those TVs. Go outside and do something

-E

The Mint Experiment

I was told when I got pregnant that chewing mint gum would help with my nausea. To explain a little bit about how bad my nausea actually was is New Year's Eve night. Justin and I didn't plan to do much other than watch the ball drop at midnight at home as neither of us are the ones to go out and party at any part of the year let alone where everywhere we could've gone would be so packed that I would have a drunk frat boy on one side and a twenty one year old blonde on the other trying to hook up with half of the bar.

Anyway, we decided to stay home and were just chilling on the couch. I have only known for a few days that I was pregnant so I didn't know entirely what to expect when it came to nausea or morning sickness. Justin made me his amazing cheese dip and I crushed it. About an hour after, my stomach started to feel weird. It started to make these gurgling sounds that even Justin could hear. Yep, this was gonna come back up. I hopped up from the couch and took maybe three steps before upchucking all over our floor not once but four forceful times. It made it about four feet out before my stomach started to feel better after it emptied. My poor Justin took it upon himself to clean up the mess (bless his heart) as I went to the bathroom to clean up.

A relative had suggested that maybe mint would help my nausea spells. I hadn't heard of this before and thought it was some crazy home remedy that helped her but couldn't imagine something like chewing a piece of gum would actually help the nausea I was experiencing. After about a week, I finally decided to look and see what the handy 'ol internet had to say about it. From what I concluded after looking at a few different reliable sources, although chewing on mint leaves themselves may have some side effects that may not be worth it to you as a pregnant woman but chewing mint gum, especially peppermint, could really help and easier to come across.

I decided to give gum a try, specifically Wrigley 5 Spearmint Rain and Wrigley 5 Peppermint Cobalt chewing gums to see which worked best. I used one full pack of each for one full day (12 hours) at the same time. Despite the sources saying that peppermint would work best, in my personal opinion, the Spearmint made my nausea almost completely diminish whereas the Peppermint only made it tolerable.

Of course, this would most likely vary from person to person so don't take this post as one hundred percent factual.

Have you ever used mint leaves or mint gum to help with your pregnancy nausea? If so, did it help you? Do you have another pregnancy safe remedy you use?

-D

The Big Reveal to Our Family & Friends

When I found out we were expecting it was around mid August 2017. I had a feeling I was and couldn't sleep and decided to take a test at 3AM. I saw the two lines and was joyous but nervous. When it got closer to the time Dean was going to wake up I did another test to be sure. It was again positive. I than walked into our bedroom as he sat on the bed and I said "Well...I'm pregnant". He stared at me and said "Why tell me now? I have to go to work in a few minutes. We will talk about this when I get home" One tip to the ladies, never tell your partner you're pregnant before work. It was a little bit of a blessing because it gave him the day to process it on his own, but I'd still not reccommned it.

We knew that we wanted to wait to tell family. Of course before anyone knew my best friend was the first to know. I told her at 3AM when I found out. Than it was my mother/his father, followed by my dad and older brother. We were planning on telling everyone else at both our Thanksgiving gatherings. First we told Dean's side. His dad already knew as I said before and was excited and told his brothers before we had a chance to do it ourselves, which led to only his Oma not knowing. This was also going to be the first time I was meeting his family which was already making me feel uneasy. Since everyone knew except his Oma it was a special moment for her. We stood close to her holding her hand saying "Oma, you're going to be a great-grandmother. We're going to have a baby". She was filled with joy!

Next was my family's Thanksgiving. All that was left was my cousins, aunts & uncles, as well as grandparents. Before people left we asked that everyone come sit in the living room because we had something to tell them all. Dean sat there silently because this was also the first time he was meeting all my family. Go big go home. I than began to say along the lines of "By this time next year we'll have another seat at table. We're pregnant!" Some of my family was shocked, but others we're beyond excited. Over time everyone got used to it and began being eager to meet her.

When the gender ultrasound came up I had Dean and my mother in the room and we were all hoping for a girl, and we were so happy that we were right. Dean called his father right away, he was thrilled. We than posted the photo to our social media accounts introducing her to our friends and family with her name. So many people were overjoyed with our news.

* I do not give permission to anyone to use these photos. These photos are my personal ones*

I'd love to hear your comments about how it went when you told your partner the big news

-X
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My story on the reveal wasn’t as big as the other moms cause I really wasn’t expecting to get pregnant as I was on birth control plus we were using protection. When I found out I was more in shock then anything and thinking did I just ruin my life. My boyfriend was at work at the time and that night at dinner I pretty much just came out with it that I was pregnant. I could see the shock and worry on his face like did I really do that, I can’t afford a child. It took us both a few days to come to the realization that this was real. When it came time to tell the parents we knew that they weren’t gonna be very happy with our choices as I had grown up in the church and my parents were very religious when it came to sex after marriage. At first they weren’t thrilled and probably for about 10 min just yelled at us for not thinking of the consequences of our decisions.

Slowly but surely the came around and were there to support us the entire pregnancy. We did not find out the gender as we wanted it to be a surprise. I’m so glad to have my little son he is my world and if the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

-E
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My reveal was pretty subtle and not planned as most try to make it for the first child, grandchild, nephew, etc. I explained a little bit in my bio about how I told Justin. It was two days after Christmas, and I had only minutes to come up with a way to tell Justin before he got home from work. I could've waited but was afraid that he would find that tests before I had the chance to do originally what I wanted to do. Plus, if I am really going to be honest with myself, there was no way I was going to be able to keep it a secret. I can't even wait to give presents on the right day. Justin and I exchanged Christmas presents at the end of November. I texted him and told him that one of my orders that I thought I cancelled for Christmas came in and so he had another Christmas present. I told him it wasn't much so he figured maybe it was a stocking stuffer or one of those inexpensive presents that was more meant to be a gag gift. Having a ton of festive boxes left over from wrapping the family's gifts, I grabbed one and threw them in there, stuffing tissues paper over them before shutting the box just as he was walking in the door. He gave me his normal hug and a kiss hello and seemed excited to see what the gift could've been. I was hesitant to give it to him because a hundred different reactions cycled through my head. What if he wasn't happy? What if he was too happy he fainted and hurt himself? What if he thought it was a joke and laughed? The most irrational thoughts flooded my head.

As he took it and slowly opened it, it felt like he was taking forever. Finally, he got to the tests. He didn't pull it out. He didn't smile. He didn't cry. Emotionless. I began getting anxious because he was giving me absolutely nothing. He eventually got out the word "I". He then began to tear up and put the box down and grabbed me. He hugged me so tight that I am pretty sure he cracked my back a few times as he said, "I love you. I always said I wanted to be a dad before I turned 30 (he just turned 29 and the due date is exactly a month before his birthday)." When we both got our composure, we sat down and had an actual conversation about our feelings. The happy, the nervous, and the concern and then all was well as we realized that we were growing our little family.

Our families were fun. We went to a mommy-to-be store here in our city and got onsies for my mom, dad, and sisters and Justin's parents. First, I told my sisters because I knew they would keep their mouths shut. Next was my mother, who we had a little concern for spilling the beans. What we chose to do was get onsies that had a theme that portrayed them. My mother's favorite animal is a monkey so we got one that had, you guessed it, monkeys on it. She didn't understand but thought it was cute. She didn't put two and two together that there was a reason that it was a onsie to the point that we had to tell her. When we did, her face lit up and was excited to be a grandma and asked all the questions that any future grandmother would. How far along I was, if we were excited, etc.

My father was next and had a similar reaction. My youngest sister, who is away at college, wanted us to record him opening the surprise which we told him was why we were recording. He thought maybe we were going to tell him something about her and she was too afraid to but he went along with it. He looked at his onsie, which had a little motorcycle on it, and only said, "what?" I responded with a "yeah" to which he then repeated with a "what?" After a little back and forth, Justin interrupted with, "babe, I think he needs you to tell him." After my explanation, I got a "wow" from him and then he stared at it quietly for a long while. We weren't sure what he was thinking so we had to ask. He was very happy and that's how we got parent number two down.

Justin's parents were left. We waited until New Year's Eve when we went to celebrate his mother's birthday which was the next day. We had one gift for her, which isn't important as to what and then we gave her her second gift, her onsie. She loves birds and has had one for thirteen years now so her onsie had birds (duh!). When she pulled it out, her mood went from content to excitement. She started to jump up and down and then asked when the wedding was. Whoops. We explained our decision on waiting on getting married, which is a story for another time, but neither her or Justin's father seemed to care. Justin's father stayed pretty stone faced with a congratulations but we didn't expect anything more. Justin's mom didn't let go of her onsie for the rest of the visit.

-D

Pregnancy and Leaks

*Warning- The topic in this post may make some uncomfortable due to it's sensitive nature. 

Today, I am officially sixteen weeks in and due to being in bed from little mister not being happy so I figured I would write a little post that many women who have been pregnant can relate to.... leaks.

The past few weeks, I have run into the oh so fun symptom of pregnancy of peeing myself. Gross I know but someone needs to be talking about it. It started out with a few dribbles when I coughed and has made its way to every cough, every sneeze, and every trip to the bathroom when the little one doesn't like what I ate for dinner.

This last Saturday, for example, I was at our local coffee shop, waiting for a possible new client to have a business meeting that would lead to a lot of opportunities for me as a photographer and artist, and my stomach started to curl. I thought, "Oh great. I am going to throw up now?!?!" The intensity of the pain in my stomach increased. Yep, I was. I ran into the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time for my chocolate milk to make its way back up. Eleven times I threw up and eleven times, I felt a short stream fill my trousers. I did everything I could to make it stop, sat weird trying to cross my leg and holding myself in hopes to stop the stream. No luck. When I finally had the chance to stand up, I went to the mirror and tried to check myself, praying that I didn't pee enough that I wasn't going to show off a giant pee stain as soon as I walked out of the bathroom.

Luckily, I was safe but it made for a very long and uncomfortable meeting.

Even at sixteen weeks, it is a safe guess that I have a box of pantie liners in my purse for emergencies.

Do you have any embarrassing leak stories? Let me know that I am not alone in the comments!

-D

Melissa’s Birth Story

And suddenly, everything changed. Again.

Sunday, Feb 4th, 2018 I woke up just like any other morning and felt pretty good. Aside from the normal aches and pains of pregnancy and a little bit a pressure I had been feeling the past two previous weeks. Jason and I decided that we were going to go to church that morning because Addison was still recovering from a double ear infection and a flu virus. After relaxing all morning we decided to go to Walmart to pick up a few things.

Let's take a step back first. On Thursday, Feb 1, 2018 I headed to my OBGYN for my 37 week appointment. It was planned that I would be induced at 38 weeks, just like I was with my first pregnancy. The reason for this is because I am on a blood thinner called Fragmin throughout my entire pregnancies. This is as a result of a blood clotting condition that I have that needs to be treated with blood thinners if you are pregnant. In order to have an epidural or a C-section, you need to be off of the blood thinners for at least 12 hours before giving birth. So, for this reason, my OBGYN likes to induce me at 38 weeks. (Not going to lie - I have no issue with this because I know how much women struggle in those last few weeks!) As I walked into my OB's office for the appointment, I had a feeling that this little man was going to come early and not even make it to the 38 week mark. The doctor check to see if I had dilated at all and it turns out.... I was already 3cm!! This blew my mind. When I was induced with our daughter, I had been having contractions for a few days; however, I had not dilated at all! This was good news to my ears, but also a little bit scary because I knew it meant I wouldn't last until Friday, Feb 9th, our scheduled induction date.

The OBGYN felt confident that I would most likely make it to the scheduled date for induction; however, he said that I should be prepared to head to the hospital if my water broke or I started having contractions. I felt overwhelmed at the thought that I was going to be a mama of two under two in such a short period of time. You always think that you're ready, but then when reality hits, you're stricken with an overwhelming amount of anxiety and stress. The main thing I was concerned about was that my in-laws, who were supposed to take our daughter on the Thursday night before my induction, were out of the country on vacation until Feb 3. The thought that kept racing through my mind was, what If I go into labor and we have to bring our daughter? What would this mean? Would Jason miss the birth? Most likely. There's no way we're having our 16 month old daughter in the delivery room. She would be scarred for life!

Well, let me tell you something that I for one already know, yet so easily forget - God is GOOD. He works all things together for good for those who love him. He is our father. We are his children. Look at how we care for our babies. How much more do you think he cares for us!

Okay, we're back to Sunday, Feb 4th. We're leaving Walmart  and as we approach the car I begin to feel extreme pressure down below (you know what I mean). At this point, I sort of ignore it because I had been feeling pressure throughout the past few weeks anyways. My stomach was much larger this pregnancy and the doctor advised that much of the pressure I was experiencing was from this. However, as the afternoon went on, the pressure progressed and contractions began. Jason and I discussed and decided that I would be wise to make a trip to the birthing unit at our hospital just to get checked out. Thankfully, my in-laws had arrived home the day before from their vacation. They came to our house to watch Addison for a few hours while we got things look at. We thought we would be back within a few hours. We were wrong.

After getting checked at the birthing unit, the doctor told us I was 4.5cm dilated at this point. He wanted me to walk around the hospital for a few hours to see if that progressed the labor at all. My contractions we're too bad at this point. After walking for a few hours and going up and down the hospital stairs, I was checked again. Upon checking, the doctor informed us that I was already 5cm and that he wouldn't want to send me home at this point. We were admitted to the hospital and as I waited for my epidural to come, I sat and prayed. I asked the Lord for his grace upon us. This was a whole new journey we would be embarking on. Two kids. I would have to go through labor and delivery again. This was something that terrified me as our first labor and delivery did not go well. I was in labor for 27 hours with Addison and pushed for 6 hours. I prayed for a safe and quick delivery.

After receiving the epidural (which took FOREVER to administer this time around. With our daughter it was quick and painless. Well, this time was the complete opposite!) the doctors informed us that we should try and get some sleep because it would probably be a while now as I waited to dilate more. My contractions were worse and more intense at this point; however, once the epidural kicked in, this mama was in HEAVEN! High as a kite! Jason and I tried to get some sleep, but 10 min later the doctor came in to break my water. Even at this point in the game, he advised me that it would probably still be a while so he asked if I wanted him to give me some Pitocin.  This is a drug administered to start or speed up labor. I was given Pitocin during my labor with Addison, but it still took such a long time for me to deliver.

30 minutes after receiving the Pitocin, as I laid in my hospital bed trying to rest, 

I felt the most intense contractions begin. It confused me because I had the epidural and even after pushing the button for more medicine to go through my body, the pain persisted. I called for my doctor. The nurse checked me and said I was still only 5cm dilated and that she would be back in an hour to check me. Within 5 min, the nurse was back because of the screams they heard echoing the halls of the birthing unit. I was in so much pain. It came on so quickly. I was in so much pain that I didn't even realize she was checking to see how dilated I was. As I cried and tried to breathe through the contractions she said to the other nurse, "wake up dad, it's time to push". This immediately caught my attention and I was shocked that It was already time to push! The nurse informed me that within those 5 min I went from 5cm to 10cm! This was why I was feeling the contractions so intensely. The epidural hardly had enough time to kick in before the contractions started and I dilated so rapidly.

Jason, who loved every single part of my labor and delivery with Addison, began to help the nurse hold my legs while I worked on pushing Finn out. However, before we knew it Jason began to look flush and feel dizzy. Everything was happening to quickly that he had to go sit down before he fainted. He watched from a chair for the remainder of the labor. The doctor came in and informed us that Finn's heart rate had dropped to a dangerous low and that I needed to push him out immediately. These words terrified me to my very core. Everything within me told my body that this is it. You have to push harder than ever to ensure he gets out. He was curled over on one side and the cord was wrapped around his neck. With two more pushes he was out! Jason came over and cut the cord, smiling from ear to ear. A proud daddy.

Like I said before, the Lord is good. Always taking care of us. The labor in total was only a few hours. I experienced very minimal tearing and have not experienced the same amount of pain as I did with recovery for Addison. By far, much smoother. Finn latched onto my breast immediately and has been nursing well ever since.

Monday, February 5th, 2018 @ 1:57am Finnick William Miller was born. He was three weeks early weighing 7lbs, 4oz. Healthy baby boy! My heart was full the moment the doctor laid him on my chest. And in an instant, everything changed. Again.

Be kind to yourself

Don't expect so much from yourself. 

Let yourself heal 

Sleep when baby sleeps 

Keep open communication with significant other. It will help avoid you guys fighting in the early newborn days. 

Give yourself self care time.

To read more from Melissa go check out her blog. Link is below. Lets thank her for sharing her wonderful story

https://melissalynd6.wixsite.com/lovemamamiller

Body Insecurity

When I first found out I was pregnant, I knew I would struggle with this topic. I had always been your cute skinny girl that always loved being sexy. When I found out I was pregnant, all I could think about was me being fat, huge, and a turn off to guys. I knew from stories that I heard that after you have a baby you will never have the pre-baby body ever again meaning I may never look the way I did before again and always carry baby fat. But as my pregnancy progressed and I realized that there was nothing I could do about it, I learned to embrace the changes. It did help that my boyfriend told me every day how beautiful I was and others would say how cute I was and glowing. By month 7, I was all about the changes and loved showing them off and that my body was doing something amazing

Ladies, your bodies were made to create life and don’t feel insecure about it as it’s a natural thing. This is the most beautiful time in a woman’s life and you need to learn to embrace it and after baby if you work hard, you can get a hot body back in no time!!

-E
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According to www.dosomething.org, 91% of women have at least one insecurity about their body and www.huffingtonpost.com, out of that high percentage of women, 52% of pregnant women say they feel even more insecure than they did before and only 14% said they felt more confident while being pregnant.

I am definitely in that 52%. Even before I got preggo, I was very insecure. I have two sisters who, all growing up, could pull off the bikini swimsuit and I wouldn't even try cause I knew I looked nothing like my skinny sisters. One of them even made it her job to tell me daily that I was a "fat, disgusting, and ugly slob that would never be loved by anyone because I was so gross." That begins to take a toll on anyone let alone a thirteen year old girl who never looked in a mirror because she thought she was too fat.

When I got out of high school, I started training for obstacle races like Gladiator Assault and got into working out a lot but even with shedding pounds and feeling amazing after eating a nutritious meal, I could never see anything but my flaws in the mirror. When I started showing, I saw my stomach muscles relaxed made me look bigger rather than pregnant and it drove me insane but once I started rounding out, it helped a bit because it was more apparent I was pregnant and not just looking heavy. Eventually, I took Justin's compliments to heart and not just roll my eyes every time I looked gorgeous or sexy. Each and every one of you is beautiful even if you don't want to see it whether you're pregnant or not.

Obviously, I don't have the experience in after birth appearance than some of the other mothers so unfortunately I can't be of any help there but can update closer to then!

-D
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One thing my mother always told me about my body was that "if you have your children young, you have a better chance of bouncing back into that BC (before children) Body....Having your younger brother 2 weeks before turning 40 has its toll on my body...". I myself, had a goal time to have children, between 23-28. I'm a little earlier than 23 but that's okay. A large reason why, was to be able to get that BC Body back as if it was nothing.

I already had a few body insecurities before becoming pregnant. I'm 5'10" (177.8cm) and averaged between 150-165lbs (68kg-75kg). It was a struggle for me to even get to 150. I had the benefit of working at a gym for awhile which helped immensely to achieve that. Now almost 33 weeks pregnant I'm already above 200lbs (90kg). I know mom's that I've talked to always tell me that "it's okay that you've gained that much, it means the baby is healthy". According to most scientific studies, 'A woman who was average weight before getting pregnant should gain 25 to 35 pounds after becoming pregnant' *. Of course we are not all the same, but it's hard to not see that scale and sigh.

Being in my third trimester I've embraced the factor of gaining weight, but know I will sadly struggle if I don't go back to being the weight I was before in a set timeframe. Many women struggle with weight before, during, and after having children, which is so sad to think of. If we stick to a healthy diet, understand our own individual BMI** and our BMR***, and do what's best for ourselves, getting the weight and body we desire either before or after should come to us naturally.

If you're struggling with picking what type of diet would work best for you, and need help understanding your BMI and BMR, send us an email and I'd be glad to help. We can get through this together ladies!

*  https://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/healthy-weight-gain#2
** (body mass index)
*** (basal metabolic rate (how many calories you'd burn doing nothing)) 

-X