And suddenly, everything changed. Again.
Sunday, Feb 4th, 2018 I woke up just like any other morning and felt pretty good. Aside from the normal aches and pains of pregnancy and a little bit a pressure I had been feeling the past two previous weeks. Jason and I decided that we were going to go to church that morning because Addison was still recovering from a double ear infection and a flu virus. After relaxing all morning we decided to go to Walmart to pick up a few things.
Let's take a step back first. On Thursday, Feb 1, 2018 I headed to my OBGYN for my 37 week appointment. It was planned that I would be induced at 38 weeks, just like I was with my first pregnancy. The reason for this is because I am on a blood thinner called Fragmin throughout my entire pregnancies. This is as a result of a blood clotting condition that I have that needs to be treated with blood thinners if you are pregnant. In order to have an epidural or a C-section, you need to be off of the blood thinners for at least 12 hours before giving birth. So, for this reason, my OBGYN likes to induce me at 38 weeks. (Not going to lie - I have no issue with this because I know how much women struggle in those last few weeks!) As I walked into my OB's office for the appointment, I had a feeling that this little man was going to come early and not even make it to the 38 week mark. The doctor check to see if I had dilated at all and it turns out.... I was already 3cm!! This blew my mind. When I was induced with our daughter, I had been having contractions for a few days; however, I had not dilated at all! This was good news to my ears, but also a little bit scary because I knew it meant I wouldn't last until Friday, Feb 9th, our scheduled induction date.
The OBGYN felt confident that I would most likely make it to the scheduled date for induction; however, he said that I should be prepared to head to the hospital if my water broke or I started having contractions. I felt overwhelmed at the thought that I was going to be a mama of two under two in such a short period of time. You always think that you're ready, but then when reality hits, you're stricken with an overwhelming amount of anxiety and stress. The main thing I was concerned about was that my in-laws, who were supposed to take our daughter on the Thursday night before my induction, were out of the country on vacation until Feb 3. The thought that kept racing through my mind was, what If I go into labor and we have to bring our daughter? What would this mean? Would Jason miss the birth? Most likely. There's no way we're having our 16 month old daughter in the delivery room. She would be scarred for life!
Well, let me tell you something that I for one already know, yet so easily forget - God is GOOD. He works all things together for good for those who love him. He is our father. We are his children. Look at how we care for our babies. How much more do you think he cares for us!
Okay, we're back to Sunday, Feb 4th. We're leaving Walmart and as we approach the car I begin to feel extreme pressure down below (you know what I mean). At this point, I sort of ignore it because I had been feeling pressure throughout the past few weeks anyways. My stomach was much larger this pregnancy and the doctor advised that much of the pressure I was experiencing was from this. However, as the afternoon went on, the pressure progressed and contractions began. Jason and I discussed and decided that I would be wise to make a trip to the birthing unit at our hospital just to get checked out. Thankfully, my in-laws had arrived home the day before from their vacation. They came to our house to watch Addison for a few hours while we got things look at. We thought we would be back within a few hours. We were wrong.
After getting checked at the birthing unit, the doctor told us I was 4.5cm dilated at this point. He wanted me to walk around the hospital for a few hours to see if that progressed the labor at all. My contractions we're too bad at this point. After walking for a few hours and going up and down the hospital stairs, I was checked again. Upon checking, the doctor informed us that I was already 5cm and that he wouldn't want to send me home at this point. We were admitted to the hospital and as I waited for my epidural to come, I sat and prayed. I asked the Lord for his grace upon us. This was a whole new journey we would be embarking on. Two kids. I would have to go through labor and delivery again. This was something that terrified me as our first labor and delivery did not go well. I was in labor for 27 hours with Addison and pushed for 6 hours. I prayed for a safe and quick delivery.
After receiving the epidural (which took FOREVER to administer this time around. With our daughter it was quick and painless. Well, this time was the complete opposite!) the doctors informed us that we should try and get some sleep because it would probably be a while now as I waited to dilate more. My contractions were worse and more intense at this point; however, once the epidural kicked in, this mama was in HEAVEN! High as a kite! Jason and I tried to get some sleep, but 10 min later the doctor came in to break my water. Even at this point in the game, he advised me that it would probably still be a while so he asked if I wanted him to give me some Pitocin. This is a drug administered to start or speed up labor. I was given Pitocin during my labor with Addison, but it still took such a long time for me to deliver.
30 minutes after receiving the Pitocin, as I laid in my hospital bed trying to rest,
I felt the most intense contractions begin. It confused me because I had the epidural and even after pushing the button for more medicine to go through my body, the pain persisted. I called for my doctor. The nurse checked me and said I was still only 5cm dilated and that she would be back in an hour to check me. Within 5 min, the nurse was back because of the screams they heard echoing the halls of the birthing unit. I was in so much pain. It came on so quickly. I was in so much pain that I didn't even realize she was checking to see how dilated I was. As I cried and tried to breathe through the contractions she said to the other nurse, "wake up dad, it's time to push". This immediately caught my attention and I was shocked that It was already time to push! The nurse informed me that within those 5 min I went from 5cm to 10cm! This was why I was feeling the contractions so intensely. The epidural hardly had enough time to kick in before the contractions started and I dilated so rapidly.
Jason, who loved every single part of my labor and delivery with Addison, began to help the nurse hold my legs while I worked on pushing Finn out. However, before we knew it Jason began to look flush and feel dizzy. Everything was happening to quickly that he had to go sit down before he fainted. He watched from a chair for the remainder of the labor. The doctor came in and informed us that Finn's heart rate had dropped to a dangerous low and that I needed to push him out immediately. These words terrified me to my very core. Everything within me told my body that this is it. You have to push harder than ever to ensure he gets out. He was curled over on one side and the cord was wrapped around his neck. With two more pushes he was out! Jason came over and cut the cord, smiling from ear to ear. A proud daddy.
Like I said before, the Lord is good. Always taking care of us. The labor in total was only a few hours. I experienced very minimal tearing and have not experienced the same amount of pain as I did with recovery for Addison. By far, much smoother. Finn latched onto my breast immediately and has been nursing well ever since.
Monday, February 5th, 2018 @ 1:57am Finnick William Miller was born. He was three weeks early weighing 7lbs, 4oz. Healthy baby boy! My heart was full the moment the doctor laid him on my chest. And in an instant, everything changed. Again.
Be kind to yourself
Don't expect so much from yourself.
Let yourself heal
Sleep when baby sleeps
Keep open communication with significant other. It will help avoid you guys fighting in the early newborn days.
Give yourself self care time.
To read more from Melissa go check out her blog. Link is below. Lets thank her for sharing her wonderful story
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