Stretch Marks

Stretchmarks are the worst during pregnancy😔. Many women feel very insecure about their bodies during this time and these marks only make it worse. I always tried to view them positively as stripes of love, that my body was growing a human within and that these were the most beautiful marks no matter how bad or gross they looked. Luckily for me, I only gained a couple on my hips and a few on my chest area. To me, they were pretty grotesque as though my veins were popping out. Fortunately, I used coco butter almost every night to try to prevent accumulating more and it seemed to work for me. Although, I still have marks today, I will always view them as stripes of love because from gaining them, I also gained the cutest little two year old. So ladies, if u feel awkward or embarrassed that you have a lot of stretch marks, don’t be. You are going through the most amazing thing a woman’s body can do and these marks are just part of that journey. In the end, when you hold that little child, you won’t even remember that you had those marks.

Here are some tips to help prevent stretch marks
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-prevent-stretch-marks#hydration

-E
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Having the fear of gaining stretchmarks is normal. But being completely honest with yourself and knowing that your body is going through so many changes helps to understand the nature of them. I stand with E on the factor that once that beautiful life comes out of you, and you have those marks, you should look at them with pride.

Nearing the end of my pregnancy I'm getting nervous about stretchmarks. I've been using a moisturizer on my belly and boobs since around 15 weeks pregnant or so. The one thing about doing that, is I include my boyfriend with this.

"Daddy Tummy Time?" He asks me with a grin on his face as we lay in bed. Of course I say "Sure". It's something that he loves doing, and knows that it's his special time with our soon to be daughter. Sometimes he lays there for 10mins just telling her about his day and how excited he is to meet her.

If any mommies to be are wanting to find a way to try and prevent stretch marks I do recommend using some kind of moisturizer and sharing the moment with your partner. It's a good way to make them feel like they're apart of the experience.

-X
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Going from a heavier child who would eat three ding dongs in a sitting to a healthy adult who calorie counted and worked out twice a day, six days a week, I am very used to seeing stretchmarks around my arms and hips. Even before pregnancy, they were hard to look at. As soon as I started showing, I noticed a few small marks across the lower abdomen. Honestly, I was absolutely horrified and they got worse and worse. I now have them all the way across and I barely even see them anymore because when I look at my protruding belly, all I can see is my son. It makes it so much easier to accept the fact that I have them. I asked Justin about them one day seeing what he would have to say about my new edition to my body and he said I was more beautiful than he could imagine. I rolled my eyes at first, thinking that he just said what I wanted to hear but then I really thought about it. They showed that I am a strong, brave, and blessed woman who was given the opportunity to bring another life into this world. They will remind me for years to come that I made the most perfect son I could as I watch him on his first day of school, go on his first date, get married, and become a father of his own beautiful kids and to me, those marks are nothing to be looked at negatively because they show the miracle that I have received.

-D

The Dirty During Pregnancy 😝

This post will contain the conversion about sex and may offend some people. So if that conversion is a touchy subject with you, please be aware. We do have other blog postings if you'd like to read something else. We will not allow anyone judging or calling us out for the acts we choose to do with our partners. Again, we are a safe environment. 

Doing the dirty, getting down to business,  hanky panky, making love, sex. All different terms that mean the same thing. But when you become pregnant, none of us are the same. When it comes to finding out you're pregnant, it changes. Some women find they become turned off when becoming pregnant, other's sex drive goes threw the roof.

For me, it stayed relatively the same. Before becoming pregnant, I loved when me and my boyfriend would have sex. It was such a physical bond we shared and I loved it! Sometimes it felt so good that we became one person. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I knew that it wasn't just sex, it was love. 

When we first found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend wouldn't touch me in a any sexual way for a bit. He was afraid he would hurt the baby. To this day that still makes me laugh. Makes you wonder if men really understand how the women's body works, most of the time they don't (he thought we only use toilet paper when we poop. Thought we just shook our bodies to dry ourselves).

Once a far amount of time passed by we started having sex again. Over time it started to slow down. Either due to me not being in the mood or wanting to throw up while giving him oral. Had nothing to do with him, just didn't eat before. Which may sound weird, but if I don't eat for awhile I become nauseous. Sometimes when we're making out about to get down to business, I jump up and say "I have to eat!"

Being 31 weeks pregnant, my belly is starting to get in the way. Sometimes we can only do a few positions which truthfully, makes me sad. I loved being able to find new ways to enjoy sex. Now its either me on top or laying down on my side. What fun is that! 

We sometimes go a week or so without having sex. And because I still have a normal sex drive, I have to deal with my want to orgasm myself. Sometimes more than once. That was also my sex drive before I got pregnant. But I sometimes I just want a quick release.

I'm glad that me and my boyfriend still have sex, but truthfully, I can't wait till my daughter is born so I can have normal sex again.

Do you find yourself sometimes masturbating more than having intercourse with your partner?

-X
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During my pregnancy I had high sexually, but also some lows. The main thing that I didn't like was the emotional hormones I dealt with all the time. I know they say that's just part of pregnancy but come on, you're messing with my head. Most days I had a normal sex drive and would be all for it, but normally wouldn't do anything cause I was either too tired or my boyfriend was working late.

Occasionally, I would have that mood where you are saying "Give It To Me!! Give it to Me NOW!!" I was like a sex freak of sorts, always wanting it and if I didn't get it I felt like it was the end of the world. I know you may be saying "come on, that's super weird", but hormones are no joke and sometimes they turn you into something you would never expect. Then there were other times I felt gross, would say "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Pregnancy hormones will take you for a wild ride, and every day will be different, filled with highs and lows.

When we did do it, occasionally it would hurt, so we would have to change position we did it in. Luckily, my boyfriend was very understanding and would listen to my responses, even ask if what he was doing was okay. He also would start slow rather than just shove it in quickly. I love him so much for respecting my body, but at the same time giving me satisfaction.

Most nights the only thing that would work due to the growing belly in the way was spooning. I mean I loved that cause my partner would be able to feel up the body while also embracing the bump. Some nights if I was feeling alright, I would manage to get on my hands and knees and be able to use a pillow below to support the belly and take it from behind. He loved when I was on top, but I noticed I would get tired quicker, so didn't do it that way often.

Every women is different, so the best advice I can give you ladies is listen to your body and if it doesn't feel comfortable, change it up until you find something that works for you.

What works for you ladies? Do you have a high or low sex drive since you've been pregnant?

-E
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Being in my first week of my second trimester, I don't have a lot of back and forth experience being high then low per say but we have run into the issue of not being in the mood. I personally haven't been in the mood since I got pregnant but I do try for my fiance. He has never put the pressure on me to do anything but he is so supportive and I know deep down he wants it but never asks. When we did, it was hard to find a position that was comfortable. The only one that seemed to be okay was missionary with a pillow under my back to get an angle that rub on parts that were seemingly sore. I'm telling ya though. Once we found that right angle, it felt amazing. Some of the best sex I've ever had. We have only done it a handful of times since mainly because I am just exhausted by the time he gets off of work at the end of the day.

The further along I am getting, I feel my sex drive going up slowly but surely so I am hoping that here in the near future, I can get back to where I was before so I will keep everyone updated further along!

-D
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Here is another mom to be talking about this topic. Though she isn't one of our blogging moms, we figured this was very good information. Give this video a watch. Her name is Shavannah from a group called Baby on Board

Emily’s Birth Story

This blog may contain some graphic content and may be offensive to some readers. If you are not comfortable with reading about a child's birth, please move onto one of our other blogs. We will not allow any negative comments on this blog  and please ask that you keep in mind that this was a very personal story that one of our bloggers is sharing. Thank You

Well, it was the night of Jan 4, 2016. I was very restless that night and knew something wasn't right. I leaned over and woke up my boyfriend and told him that I had to go in just to be safe. I had been having Braxton Hicks the past three weeks on and off, so I could tell if they may be them, but this felt totally different. It had always been my plan to have a home birth, so I could be in the safety of my own home and surrounded by the ones I loved. Frantically, we got ready but what came next was a huge shock and definitely not expected.

My water broke and drenched my clothes and seeped across the floor. It looked as though I peed my pants and quite honestly, made me embarrassed to have done it right in front of my boyfriend. I immediately told my boyfriend to call my mom and the midwife as I knew this is it, my little man is coming whether I like it or not. Contractions began about every 20 minutes after my water had broke and they were getting pretty intense. I had never felt anything like this. It felt as if my stomach was being ripped piece by piece. I knew I wasn't going to handle it well and I was on the floor curling up in pain as it hurt so bad even though I knew it was just the beginning.

My mom arrived about an hour after we called her and immediate came to my aid to help me over to the bed. About 30 min after she arrived, the midwife arrived. She immediately told me to strip off my bottoms so she could check my progress. When she inserted her fingers, it caught me so off guard because they were like icicles. She said I was at 3 cm but that I still had a while to go. She also mentioned I should try and walk around the house to see if that would get the show on the road. It was a struggle to walk around as the pain was so intense and my lower half was already hurting so bad. Every 20 steps I would have to stop and hunch over or lean on my boyfriend cause of the intensity of the pain. I could see that he was super worried and didn't like seeing me like this. He did try to lighten the mood by playing with my chest area. All I could say was "really" in a painful but more irritated manner. I continued to walk around for about an hour hoping that it would do something for my progression.  My midwife checked me again and I was at 6 so dilated, which was definitely some progress.

I asked her if I could try to soak in the tub. I had read that the water takes some of the pressure away and helps a little with the pain. She did recommend that I don't deliver in the tub and that the water can only do so much and there was a possibility that some complications could arise. I definitely did not want that. She then stated that I get back on the bed or at least out of the pool when it was time. I did end up getting in the water and wow, it felt amazing, almost as if I was pain and stress free. But as we know, that can only last so long. After about an hour and a half in the water the midwife decided that she should check me again. I was at 9 cm this time, so it was almost show time. She decided that it would be best to get out and head to the bed for the final stages before having to push. It was a struggle to get out of the water cause my legs felt week, but with the help of my boyfriend I was able to get it up slowly. I made my way to the bed just as another contraction hit which almost caused me to crash to the floor.

About 45 minutes of contractions later, I was so over this and was saying to myself to "get this baby out of me". The midwife decided that she would check me and this time she gave me some relieving news, but also dreaded at the same. I was 10 cm, but that meant TIME to PUSH. Definitely wasn’t looking forward to that as I was already in immense pain and discomfort. I had read that being on your hands and knees was supposed to help with the pressure, so I decided to try that position. Of course my boyfriend was being stupid again, we wanted to film and photograph the labor and birth, but I didn’t expect for him to be all in up my private area. Also sticking the camera in my face to get my facial expressions during the whole thing. I think I even yelled at him “stop that crap and get over here now!” I wanted to hold his hand and maybe even break it, I wouldn’t do that 😂. I began to bear down as hard as a I could. I felt like I was taking a massive poop 💩 . I could feel the area stretch as I pushed with everything I got. Contraction after contraction, I would push. In between, I would be having my mom with a wet rag to cool me down and also chew on some ice. After about 45 min of being on my hands and knees, my legs felt like they were dead so I decided I wanted to do the standard on the back with the legs spread. I got in position with my boyfriend holding one leg and the other being held by my mom. My boyfriend had given the camera to one of the midwife's assistants and had asked her to film the delivery. Man, I hated having a camera all up in my private areas, just felt awkward. Thinking that I was gonna be watching this back in a few months kind of creeped me out. 

I continued to push while on my back and all was going well, the midwife said that’s it keep going 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 and breathe. After about 2 and a half hours of pushing, the midwife yelped “ I can see the head!” She asked if I wanted to reach down and feel my sons head as I replied with "sure why not" and reached down between my legs. When I felt the head, it was all gooey and slimy, but an amazing feeling to finally feel what had been in there for 9 months. She told me that my son was beginning to crown and now I would need to push harder then ever when I felt the next urge to push. All of this sudden a burning sensation came over my whooha area and it felt like someone was holding a lighter down there and burning me. I had read that thing was the ring of fire and happened when the baby was crowning due to the stretching  to allow baby’s head to pass through.

She told me that squatting might help with the gravity and allow him to pass through easier. One of her assistants went and grabbed a pad to put on the floor and she had me get in a semi squad position of sorts, down but being held up by my boyfriend with his hands under my armpits. By now, I was in the full nude with everyone having their eyes on me. I felt kind of ashamed to be nude in front of all these people, but once that burning sensation took over again I felt like “screw it”. I began to bear down with all I had and the midwife had her hands down holding the head while I pushed. After a few minutes of pushing, she told me to stop and just breathe. She grabbed a hold of his head and shoulder to help guide him out. Not gonna lie it hurt like hell, but after a few more light pushes I heard a cry. My son was here. I looked down and could see him covered in blood and fluids. The midwife cleaned him up and suctioned his mouth and nose. All of this sudden, he let out this loud cry and began to flail his arms and legs. I pretty much broke down in tears at that moment. Was it cause of all the pain I had endured and just happy it was over or was it that I realized I just became a mom and had a created a baby inside me. 

She handed me my son and immediately, I looked into those current eyes and his little hand gripped mine. I bawled, we're all crying at the amazing moment.

Main thing I can tell you ladies is listen to your bodies during labor. The female body was made and designed to carry and birth children. You can never really prepare yourself for what expect because you never be know.

Below is a useful link if your considering an a home birth

http://americanpregnancy.org/labor-and-birth/home-birth/

Thanks so much for reading my story 💋 Please let me know what you thought by leaving a comment below or you can send an email to soontobemommies2018@gmail.com