As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew I’d be planning a home birth. While the hospital birth of my son (way back in May 2009) was natural and complication free, I hated the ‘being in hospital’ aspect of things. The transfer in while in labour was painful, and the sudden change of setting and medical feel to the room was unsettling. I was also now being treated by people who I’d never met in my life, and the labour ward was busy, so there was no continuity of care. To me, hospitals are a place for sick people and not somewhere I would choose to spend one of the happiest days of my life if I didn’t need to. I was low risk and my midwife Becky was very supportive of my decision, so I happily went ahead and planned my home birth. We were due on 5th December so I made sure I had the Christmas tree up by the 1st. I had fairytale images of twinkling fairy lights in the background as we welcomed our little baby into the world.
My due date came and went with no sign of baby. I wasn’t worried or even impatient as my first was born at 41 weeks and I knew she would come when ready. I was offered a stretch and sweep by my midwife on my due date, which I politely declined, and I went home to enjoy my last few days of pregnancy. I’ve always felt quite strongly against unnecessary intervention as it often leads to further intervention, and I wanted to labour and birth as naturally as possible.
Two days past my due date, on 7th December at around 10pm, I felt some low period like pains in my stomach. I knew right away that they were contractions and I started to get excited knowing the birth was imminent. My first labour was almost exactly 6 hours from the first contraction to baby being born, and I knew this one was likely to happen even quicker. I started timing the contractions straight away. In the next couple of hours I had a handful of contractions that were completely sporadic and at varying degrees of painfulness. I tried going to bed around midnight but the mixture of excitement and discomfort made sleep impossible, so I got up and sat downstairs by myself. Eventually the contractions trailed off completely and I finally gave
in and went to bed at 2:45am feeling disappointed.
I woke up at 7am the next morning to a mild contraction, and my husband told me to stay in bed while he got my son ready for school. Again, nothing really ramped up so I plodded downstairs to get some breakfast. My husband said he would stay home for the day as he was sure ‘today was the day’. I had a shower, did my make up as normal and tried to keep busy, pottering around tidying and trying to stay on my feet to get things going. We had a little snack in the late morning (hummus and toasted pitta bread, yum) and he said he was going to try and have a little nap as it had been such a broken nights sleep. I decided to stretch out on the sofa and watch an episode of Criminal Minds, as one does.
Five minutes into the program at 12pm I had a really strong contraction, then another two within the next ten minutes. I shouted up to my husband to forget the nap, things were happening! I marched around the living room, desperate for them not to trail off again, while we started making some childcare plans. We called my dad to ask him to pick my son up from school that day and then my husband urged me to call the hospital so they could notify the home birth team. I wasn’t keen on calling them so soon as I hated the thought of them coming out and then everything stopping again. But, he insisted so I made the call. The phone was answered by a midwife called Emma who was super sweet. I told her that I was having two to three contractions every ten minutes but I didn’t expect my labour to take long once established. She said she would make some phone calls and then get back to me to let me know what time I could expect someone. Sure enough, within ten minutes I had a call back from Emma to tell me that my community midwife Becky was on her way, and that Emma herself would be the second midwife arriving a little later with the birthing kit. I was so happy that my own midwife was able to attend, it meant I would be cared for by someone that I’d built a relationship with, who knew what I wanted from my home birth.
We started getting the birthing space ready, which only really consisted of covering the living room sofas with plastic sheeting with some towels on top, and putting a soft padded gym mat on the floor next to the sofa. I drew the curtains, blu tacked my birth plan to the living room door, put on the Christmas tree fairy lights and started arranging some snacks in the kitchen for my midwives. A few minutes later at 1pm the doorbell rang and my husband went to answer it. He came back in and said that Becky had a student with her for the day and was I happy to have the student observe the birth. I felt a little conflicted for a split second as I’d wanted as few people there as possible, but I was so grateful that Becky was able to attend that I said, “Yes, yes, just let her in!”
Becky came in with her student called Anna Marie and I updated them on how things had been going so far. I had originally written in my birth plan that I didn’t want any VE’s, but that went out the window straight away as I was desperate to know if ‘this was it’ and whether or not I was in established labour. Becky performed the examination and said I was 3cm to 4cm, so not quite established labour but things were definitely happening. We then took five minutes to go through my birth plan, which consisted of the following.
I would like to avoid having any VE’s (whoops)
Please do not talk to me during contractions.
I would like my labour to be as hands off as possible.
I may lose my mind a bit during transition. If I do, remind me about transition and I’ll be ok again. :)
I do not want any coached pushing.
I do not want the injection to speed up the third stage (placenta delivery).
Please wait for white and delay cord clamping.
I would like immediate skin to skin and time with my baby before the baby examinations.
By now it was 1:30pm and things were starting to ramp up. I put some music on, held my hot water bottle against my stomach and started pacing up and down the living room. For each contraction, which by now were getting stronger and lasting longer, I leant on my husband for support and concentrated on breathing through them. Once the contraction was over, I’d started pacing again. Becky and Anna Marie had made themselves comfortable and we were all chatting and laughing in-between contractions, and drinking copious amounts of tea. After about half an hour of this, the doorbell went again, it was Emma arriving with the kit, which she set up in the kitchen/dining room. More tea was made, my hot water bottle refilled and another person settled into our birth space.
I now had three midwives and my husband there for support and was starting to feel like a VIP. Soon after Emma arrived, the contractions were coming thick and fast, and were so strong that I could no longer pace the room. I dropped down onto my knees on the gym mat and asked if I could try some gas and air. I took some long deep puffs with my next contraction and it made me feel a little light headed. I did this again for my next couple of contractions but I became irritated with it quickly as I didn’t find it was offering much in the way of pain relief and it was becoming a distraction. Also, I was at the point where I needed to make a little noise so instead I moaned through the contractions while my husband massaged my back. By now I was feeling an incredible amount of pressure down below and I instinctively leant across the sofa and adopted an ‘all fours’ position.
The next few contractions were hard to deal with and I suddenly felt like I’d made a terrible mistake. I whimpered that “I couldn’t do it” and my midwives quickly reassured me that I could and I was. Becky reminded me about what I’d written in my birth plan about transition, and for some reason I replied with, “Ignore that, I was lying!”
A moment later, my waters went with a bang as my body instinctively started pushing. The pressure was immense and whenever the urge came, I pushed as hard as I could to try and get through it as quickly as I could. I vaguely remember my husband being completely overcome with emotion and crying as I pushed. Minutes later, Becky told me the head had been born and baby looked like Daddy! I gave one final huge push and our daughter was born into the world at 2:51pm, after 1 hour and 40 minutes of established labour and 12 minutes of pushing.
She was immediately passed up to me between my legs and I looked at her completely stunned while she let out a loud cry. I pulled her up to my chest and made myself cosy on the sofa with a fluffy towel over us to keep us warm. I was SO happy she was here and was perfectly healthy. My husband cuddled up with us and told me how proud of me he was, I thought my heart might burst. After a cup of tea and a well earned cupcake, we clamped and cut the cord and my husband took baby into the kitchen with Emma and Anna Marie so they could perform the newborn checks while Becky and I concentrated on the third stage.
Without going into any graphic detail, it somehow ended up with Becky and I in the downstairs loo together with me delivering the placenta into what looked like a tupperware box! The newborn checks were still being completed so I quickly jumped into the shower for 2 minutes to freshen up. When I came downstairs my little girl had been dressed in her cute first baby grow, had been weighed (4.0kg/ 8lb8) and was ready for her first feed. She latched on immediately and the three of us happily cuddled up on the sofa while the midwives tidied up. All of the disposable rubbish was thrown into a black sack and the towels chucked into the washing machine. Within minutes, you’d never have know a baby had just been born in the room. We then called both of our parents to let them know the good news and hugged our midwives goodbye as they left us to enjoy our cosy Christmas baby moon. We ordered dinner that evening from our favorite Lebanese restaurant and there was no greater feeling than being able to get into our own bed that night with our baby girl safe and well by our side.
I know many people go into their birth with a ‘I’ll go with the flow’ kind of attitude, and while it’s good to be prepared for anything, it’s also great to know exactly what you want from the birth so that your midwife can help you achieve it. You (likely) wouldn’t get married without first doing some planning, and giving birth is just as big a life event, if not bigger. I highly recommend The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill for anyone that needs help getting into that zone or is a bit fearful of childbirth. It’s brilliantly written, extremely informative and unlike any pregnancy/birth book I’ve read before.
Lets thank Liz for sharing her amazing story with us ladies...
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